Yesterday was the first day of class, and for the first time in four years, I actually went.
For me, skipping the first day of class has become a ritual of a sort. It’s the day when most professors only give out syllabi, or discuss the outline of the course. Few actually start teaching right away, and so I usually skip to savor one more precious day of freedom.
But now that I’m officially a graduate (or I will be in two days time!) I found myself getting up at 10am and driving to university in my graduation present; a gorgeous new car I’ve been salivating over for ages. So graduation definitely has its perks, but I can’t deny that it felt bittersweet to sit on the plat while my friends rushed to class or lamented over the fact that they were only registered in two courses, and to realize that this scenario was no longer part of my world, and that a significant chapter of my life is finally over. It only just started to sink in when I attended the career conference held by the CAPS office, where everyone was talking about where they’re going in life and what they want to do.
I’m only 19 years old. I’ve never really thought about how different that makes me to most of my friends, and if I’m truly ready for the real world. My sister is only a year younger than I am, and she’s only graduating from high school this year. I worked so hard to get done so early, but now I’m starting to think maybe I rushed too fast. It’s hard to think that I can no longer be carefree and living the life of a student; I’m now officially an adult, even though I’m content to live a little first.
My graduation speech was selected, and this Thursday I’m going to be giving it to almost 1,000 people. I was ecstatic beyond belief when I learned that it was chosen, but now I’m starting to have panic attacks and am having nightmares about getting up and not being able to do it. But insh’Allah I’ll be fine. I just need to remember to breathe and to not think about all the people and just concentrate on my speech. It’s a great honor to be giving it and to be chosen as a representative of my class. I’m guessing it would be selfish to hope I get the cup too :)
In any case, I’ll keep you updated as usual.
Until next time,